Corporate Job Exit
I left my corporate job in September. To be exact, September 1st was my last day being an employee. It was my last day with a consistent paycheck. It was my last day commuting to another town everyday - a town away from my boys and a town away from my home. And it was my first day of freedom and of the life that I craved and I’m stepping into more and more everyday. A life that I journaled about years ago and felt like was just a pipe dream. It seems as though stepping into these “desires and dreams” has become my new habit since I worked with Heather Chauvin.
Stepping into this truth also meant I had to say farewell to a job that I enjoyed a great deal, with many coworkers I loved and cared deeply about, and a lot of work that I was passionate about that I didn’t feel like I had completed. The completion factor was huge for me and all of my “I’m not enough and I failed stuff” came up and tried to keep me from stepping into my truth. That is, until I realized I was being a martyr and it was furthering the gap from the life that I craved. Right when I realized this, I stopped being a martyr. I stopped giving away my arm and my leg and my head and my energy to a job.
It’s not like this was an easy, black and white decision even though I knew deep in my soul I wanted to switch gears and build a business. It would have been really easy to do if I didn’t enjoy my job and I think deep down I was always waiting for that kind of run factor for a long time. You know what I mean, a job so rich with drama that anyone would be stupid to not cut bait… that’s the type of job I was hoping would push me to make my corporate job exit. So when it was all shades of grey, why did I take the leap? There were so many reasons that I can quantify and even more that I can’t. But here are many of them:
First and foremost, years ago I promised myself that by the time Dominic was in 2nd grade, I would do this. When days were hard and long, I would do a mental countdown and just envision what this would look and feel like. I would stop working for someone else and be more available to him. More importantly, I would be more available to me. I wanted to have more flexibility. More control. More freedom. More flexibility. Each year that went by, the yearning to be able to pick him up right when school ended at 3pm instead of at 5 or 5:30pm kept pulling me. Not like a little pull, but more like a rubber workout band around my belly catapulting me back to the wall when I try to run the other way. I did not want to miss these precious years, which I am very aware are short and fleeting. I had only ever picked him up 2 times directly after school, and this includes the years he was in daycare. Sadly, Dominic had always been in the hands of after school care. And now that I am so blessed and have a bonus family (Shane and Sawyer), my heart just wanted to be more present. More available. Less scheduled in a town away from them and available to pick up not just one, but two precious and ridiculously energetic 2nd graders.
The Rat Race. I lived in a rat race and was CONSTANTLY on the go. I woke up early, did homework with Dominic while I ran around the house getting us ready, got lunches, answered early morning work calls, answered emails while drying my hair, packed lunches and snacks for both of us for the day, did all the things and had to be ready for my day when I dropped him off. Then, I commuted and that was my “down time” for the day. It was a life of grit and I decided the spirit of the hustle was not something that served us. It was lined with chaos and time was a busy commodity. I was so sick of this fact and knew I wanted to shift my life away from scarcity and lack and towards abundance.
No matter how hard I worked, I never made more money. I could sacrifice everything and still, I made the same. While I am not motivated by money, I am motivated by energy. Putting energy into something that takes away from my family should also have an equal exchange of energy. I am driven to work hard and to solve problems and to connect the dots so that things work. I felt like I had a never ending supply of problems to solve at my job and often stayed up late at night doing one more work thing and always sacrificing myself and my family. Quite frankly, I sacrificed myself and my sleep consistently for my job and I wanted to stop.
In August of 2019 when I first started working with Heather, I wrote the following statement that has guided me and still does. Habits are hard to break, especially those that we have had for a long-time.
“I am committed to break the chains of the scrappy life of grit and survival that have carried me to this point in life. I am determined to put on my oxygen mask first because I am worthy of happiness and success and love. I am doing this work so that my son and I can have the freedom to thrive , love abundantly, and live the life of adventure that our souls desire.”
I was living and working in my zone of excellence, not genius. I was doing work that, more often than not, I was good at and I could do, but it wasn’t work that lit me on fire. Life is too dang short and I wanted to do work that lit me on fire and truly shared my gifts with the world, not just the 200+ staff at my “corporate” job. The funniest thing is that I finished the BIG LEAP on my last day at work on my last commute to that job. If you haven’t read it, I highly encourage you to read or even listen to the audible like I did. It describes our zones of genius and excellence and has truly left an lasting impact on the way I think about work.
My job took a lot of energy. ALL of the time. And I mean ALL of the time. Now that I am a few months removed, I can really see a difference in my general stress levels and even my sleep now. I can’t even begin to imagine what my family sees and feels. Looking back now, I see how I could have set better boundaries and sacrificed less, but that’s beside the point now.
Telling Dominic that I quit my job was one of the greatest moments of my life. I told him and he immediately squealed in delight and gushed in complete joy and happiness. “Mom, now you can pick me up from school everyday!!!!” It is a moment I will never forget. Ever. The sparkle in his eyes was more magical than all of his birthdays, Christmas and ½ birthdays combined.
Most days pickups are mundane and not too exciting. But I have found it is the time of day that they will tell you the most random information that is long gone before dinner, and I value every single pickup. It’s incredible what happens when we step into the desires of our hearts.
So what now? Besides pickups, I am building the business of my dreams. Trying to figure out how to grow a business with variable income is vomitlishious. But I LOVE it. And I love helping people. So what am I doing? Kind of the same thing I am doing on the blog… but for business owners. I am helping them put on their oxygen mask first. I am running a consulting practice that is focused on helping small business owner’s streamline their companies, find efficiencies and implement best practices for accounting and human resources. I am helping small businesses thrive and get back to the reason they started their business, instead of being bogged down by HR and accounting. I am also a remote HR consultant and CFO. With the amazing support of my BFG (big friendly giant Shane), I am doing this thing that I love. The four of us also moved in together, which is a ginormous and hugely uncomfortable step for me, and we are building a home together. I can hardly recognize my new life most days, but it is a joyous ride. I am excited to see what will happen in 2021!
BIG LOVE,
